By Sheefah Irambona
As Child Protection Week calls on us to focus on the children of today, we often overlook the children still living within many adults, those who survived abuse, neglect, dysfunction, and silence at the hands of broken systems, families, and communities.
In May, our radio series What We Carry: How Childhood Shapes the Adult Self explored the lasting impact of childhood trauma and the ways it continues to shape adulthood. Rather than asking, “What happened to you?”, we asked a deeper question: “What stayed?”
Joined by social worker Ronald Menoe, the series unpacked the realities many adults quietly carry with them, from childhood sexual abuse and emotional neglect to parentification and growing up in households affected by addiction. Central to the conversation was the understanding that trauma does not look the same for everyone and that context matters when defining these experiences.
One of the most difficult discussions focused on adults who experienced sexual abuse as children. Abuse often comes at the hands of people we trust, fundamentally reshaping how survivors understand love, safety, trust, and boundaries. Many adult survivors struggle with people-pleasing, fear of rejection, guilt, shame, and dissociation. Compliance can become linked to acceptance, making it difficult to say no or maintain healthy boundaries in relationships later in life.
Across every conversation, one theme remained constant: boundaries. Whether through trauma, neglect, or survival, many adults struggle to protect themselves emotionally because survival once depended on pleasing others, staying silent, or carrying responsibilities they were never meant to bear.
Menoe emphasised the importance of self-awareness, recognising our triggers, understanding our behaviours, and beginning the work of healing. Healing the children of the past is essential if we hope to nurture and protect the children of tomorrow.
If we do not heal as individuals and as a society, we risk bleeding onto people who never cut us.
Listen to the full conversations on the VOC App.
Photo: Pexels
